Movies in Purgatory...

There's a place that movies go when they've left the megaplex and are on their way to DVD. It's called the $2 movie theater. At this point, I'm only aware of Carmike Hickory 8 at Hickory Hollow Mall. I hear your gasps at the mention of this apparent shooting ground, so let me assure you that I only go there in the day time. There you can catch a cheap movie that's still on a silver screen, which must be bigger than your flat screen. Plus, you can show your kids the neck-breaking experience of life before stadium seating.

Here are my thoughts about the films that are currently playing:

• Contraband: Chris and I decided long ago that we'll see almost anything starring Mark Wahlberg. There will always be a conspiracy that needs correcting. There will likely be shoot-outs and cars exploding. And just in case we've forgotten what it was like to walk down the halls in high school, you can count on innumerable four-letter-words to build up your tolerance. If you like intense action and can tolerate the language, you'll love it.
• Joyful Noise: What a disappointment. For some reason I expected something resembling Sister Act, but I was so wrong. Not even Queen Latifah could rescue the poor writing, and there just wasn't enough music to justify even one of the ten dollars I paid to see it. Don't expect me to bash musically inclined movies often, but you really must skip this one.
• The Darkest Hour: Summit Entertainment was so convinced that I needed to see this movie that I saw the preview in the theater no less that 10 times. But they still didn't convince me. It seems to be reminiscent of Will Smith's I Am Legend, only cast with twenty-somethings that you almost remember seeing in some other movie. If you enjoy mild alien movies, you could check it out.
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close: Last week, a new friend overheard that I'm a "movie person". Then she asked me how many of the Best Film nominees I had seen. Surprisingly, only 3 of the 9. This film seems like one I would appreciate. However, sometimes you have to know yourself well enough to recognize when it's just not the right time for you to see a movie. I haven't had the tears to spare on this one, so perhaps this film will inspire my next visit to movie purgatory.
• We Bought a Zoo: Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson. Cute kids and zoo animals. I'm assuming it's fine. I just never could bring myself to see this seemingly average movie by myself. I'm hoping it's family friendly enough for us to check out on DVD. I'll let you know.
• The Adventures of Tintin: I knew from the start this would be a family outing, so we purposely waited to see this one for two bucks apiece. I'll let you know.
• The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo: This movie got rave reviews from all the edgy critics. But here's where I'll introduce you to my favorite website for finding out just how far the filmmakers have pushed the envelope. The Girl... goes way too far for me. Take one glace at Kids-In-Mind and you'll see why this one was never even a thought. http://www.kids-in-mind.com/g/girlwiththedragontattoo2011.htm
• Alvin and The Chipmunks:Chipwrecked: I see no reason to pay for potty humor when I have a ten-year-old boy in my house. Just give us an old-time animated remake. We'll be there.
• Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows: I'm a sucker for blockbusters. And, well let's face it, I'm still a sucker for Robert Downey, Jr. Action, humor, disguises, suspense...I'm there. Holmes was worth the full price tickets we paid for date night. I'd recommend catching it on the big screen, but if you're unsure, it's expected on dvd in May. Just for fun, watch the first one before you go.

Whether you're considering $2 in Antioch or $1.25 at Redbox, stay tuned for Movie Purgatory updates from time to time.